OAKLAND, Calif. – Harold Camping, a California preacher who predicted that 200 million Christians would be taken to heaven Saturday (May 21st) before catastrophe struck the planet, apologized Monday evening for not having the dates "worked out as accurately as he could have.
With the end of the world upon us I found myself quite busy the week of the 20th packing, sorting through old mail and painstakingly choosing my cat's favorite toys. I figured there would be room for at least two toys apiece, along with their fluffy beds, litter boxes and food bowls. As I fondly looked over at my husband Jimi, who was hysterically laughing at a Seinfeld Episodes, I knew he wasn’t so lucky, oh well, no time to wallow. But as 6:00, May 21st came and went, I like the other 200 million chosen ones were totally disappointed that the rapture had not happened. I mean, “for Christ Sakes, how could Harold Camping be wrong? I mean he's a man, and weren’t there 5,000 billboards plastered with the Judgment Day message?”
Fortunately for my cats Kuma and Hurricane and me, Harold, the 89-year-old retired civil engineer later explained that it was a mathematical error and that he was off by five months. Phew, thank God for that! What Harold later realized was that May 21st instead of being the biblical Rapture in which the faithful would be swept up to the heavens, instead it was a "spiritual" Judgment Day, which places the entire world under Christ's judgment. Therefore, the globe will be completely destroyed in five months. He also explained that after having warned the world for several months leading up to the 21st he now felt there was no need to continue to remind people so his network will just play Christian music and programs until the final end on Oct. 21.
October 21st, What? October 21st is Jimi and our 5th year wedding anniversary. Wow, that changes everything. With the world ending on such a special day I feel the need to move our wedding anniversary to an earlier date. Therefore, we will now be celebrating our wedding anniversary on September 21st giving us a full month to enjoy our fifth year anniversary. Ok so here is where you guys come in. After careful consideration I have decided that it would be best if you would start sending us our gifts now ensuring that they reach us in a timely matter also allowing us to thoroughly enjoy them.
According to the Wedding Anniversary Site, here is a list of appropriate gifts to give us.
1. Silver Engraved Platter
2. Silver Ring
3. Bracelet
4. Pendent
5. Turquoise Pendent
6. Modern: Silverware
But lets face it guys, in all honesty it’s feeling a little cheap. I mean why not spend a little more and get us something we really want. Hell it’s not like your going to need the money where you’re going. Besides I am pretty sure the "Man Up-Stairs" is watching to see what you have given to one of his “Chosen Ones.”
After doing some careful research I have discovered that between the 60th and 75th wedding anniversary one can expect either Diamonds, Blue Safire, Platinum or Gold. I am fine with everything except the Gold, not much of a Gold person. Jimi has requested that we add an amendment to the list to include guitars. Because Jimi is so particular about his guitars it would probably be easier to simply send him money, ensuring that he is happy with your gift, remember “He’s” watching.
Now I know with the world almost over this might be an overwhelming time for some of you but please lets keep in mind some of the great quotes by our fellow men and women over the years:
"No one has ever become poor by giving."
Anne Frank:
"I don't think you ever stop giving. I really don't. I think it's an on-going process. And it's not just about being able to write a check. It's being able to touch somebody's life."
Oprah Winfrey:
"Give cheerfully and freely. It is the energy behind the giving that matters so do not give grudgingly. The law of cause and effect guarantees that you shall receive plenty for what you give.
David Cameron Gikandi:
And my personal favorite:
"Think of giving not as a duty but as a privilege."
Jim Rohn:
Okay bottom line, I happen to think Harold Camping is a moron, but if there is anything to take away from his ranting and ravings about the end of the world it is to simply make your life count! Therefore, love what you do, whom you do it with and most importantly love the person you see in the mirror 365 days a year!
Till next week, remember YOU ARE FABULOUS!
XOXOXO
Nef
