I recently received an email from a friend of mine. It was the type of email that makes one shiver and although I was running off to work I felt I couldn’t put off responding to her. My friend’s mother has been struggling with a terminal illness that will end her life. Unfortunately, unlike my mother who was not afraid to die, her mother is fearful. I think part of the reason why my mother was ok with checking out early as she so eloquently put, was because her faith was unshakeable. In fact the day she died she had managed to have the priest administer last rights to her three times. The priest later pulled me aside and said:
“Wow I have never seen someone so eager to get to heaven.”
“Yeah, that’s my mother father.”
My mother’s lack of fear made her passing that much easier on me. However, my friend didn’t grow up with the belief that there was something out there beyond this life. In essence she, her sister and mother did not have faith. So for my friend watching her mother struggle with her own mortality was that much harder.
Now I have never had the level of faith in God, Heaven, Jesus Christ the way my mother did, but what I did have was an innate belief in life. Despite my own childhood which was pretty nuts at times, leaving plenty of room for doubt, for some reason I still managed to see the class half full.
I guess the fact that we had just finished the holiest two weeks in the Christian and Jewish calendar, plus having received my friend’s email, faith and religion were now on my mind. As a child I remember my mother saying to me:
“Nef, take what you can get from religion and disregard the rest.”
I liked that; it kind of left plenty of room for my so-called sins. Anyway, growing up in Alphabet City in the middle of New York City, clearly meant malls were obsolete. Along with the absence of malls was the absence of chain restaurants, mainly Red Lobster. Oh how I dreamed about those succulent lobster tails dipped in a bowl of hot butter. The limitless amount of shrimps grilled, baked, battered and fried. The crab claws, bowls of pasta, which of course were always served by happy smiley waiters. I used to stampede out of my bedroom; flying over my cat Dorcas to watched the Red Lobster commercials as a kid.
“Mom why can’t we go to Red Lobster, why?”
“Nef we don’t have malls in New York City.”
Thank God for small blessings she would mutter under her breath.
“Besides the foods horrible Nef"
“How would you know,” I yelled.
But she did know she grew up in the Suburbs, a magical place, where the streets were lined with Red Lobsters. However, as the years past and I grew up, I found myself appreciating New York City and its fine seafood restaurants. I was glad that I lived in a city, that we didn’t have malls and mall food, but rather Individual mom and popshops and four-star restaurants. And yet, deep down inside my longing for Red Lobster gnawed at me. I just knew my mother was wrong. When a Red Lobster finally opened up in Time Square my husband and our mutual friends, Alanna and Eric asked if I wanted to go.
“No, it’s not the same it has to be in the Suburbs near a mall, to be true.” I bitched.
So three more years would pass, and despite everyone telling me that the food sucked, that it was frozen and why would a restaurant snob like me want to go to Red Lobster, I did not falter in my belief. Besides the commercials were relentless and I knew with every fiber of my freaking being, Red Lobster would Rock!
Then it came, April 19th, 2011. We were driving to Jimi’s parent’s house in Pennsylvania for a visit and Jimi told me we were going to Red Lobster. I think the heavens parted in that moment. I talked about it the whole drive down, what I would eat, who we should call, did his parents have a camera to take a photo of me.
“Oh and you can’t order the Surf and Turf platter because I don’t eat meat and I want to be able to try your dinner as well. I said.
“Yeah, yeah whatever you want Nef.”
We strolled into Red Lobster on a cloudy, raining Tuesday afternoon. Yes afternoon, Jimi’s parents like to eat dinner at 4:00. As we entered the restaurant there to the left of us was a fish tank with real live lobsters. “Ah, ha! I told you Red Lobster has fresh lobster.” I blurted out. Never mind the fact that the poor lobsters were on top of each other and that they were probably there for show, the fact is I saw real live lobsters! Yes, one step closer to fulfilling a life long dream. No sooner then we sat down our waitress Marcie showed up and said:
“Hi you all, my name is Marcie and I am going to be your waitress.”
Jimi’s Dad immediately chimed in and said:
“Hi Marcie can you tell your manager Wendy, that the Koviloff family has arrived.”
The Koviloff family, is he kidding? You would think we had just arrived at the Wardolf Astoria. But two minutes later, a cheerful Wendy came over. After introducing herself to us, Jimi’s Dad said:
“Wendy, we spoke earlier on the phone today. I told you about my son and daughter in-law, the ones from New York City.”
“Oh yes, yes the musicians, wow so nice of you to come all the way here for dinner.”
By now Jimi was trying to crawl under the table from embarrassment, while I sat there beaming like a kid in a candy store. Wendy left, Marcie returned and we ordered! I got the mega seafood platter with everything included. Shrimp, lobster, crab, salad, baked potato, MY GOD, how my mother was wrong. Huge portions of food, with unlimited biscuits, I have never had unlimited anything and now here at Red Lobster I had biscuit after biscuit. Cheesy, buttery, piping hot lobster biscuit, “God Dam,” I moving to the Suburbs.
We left that magical place fat, content and exhausted!
You see my old friend faith is just a word. It is the action behind the word that carry’s the real weight. I needed to believe in something as silly as Red Lobster because it somehow represented that picket fence I had spent half my life chasing after. Red Lobster turned out to be everything I ever wanted and more. My mother believed with all her heart it was her time to die and despite the fact that the doctors told me and my step dad that my mother would be fine and that they were sending her home the next day, she died several hours later.
Perhaps sometimes we just need to believe in something with all of our heart. So as I said earlier,
“It is the belief in faith for reasons we can’t explain, it is the light we see in the dark.”
Till than my fabulous women make sure you believe in something that fills you with faith, even if it is just the belief in the sand beneath your feet.
XO
Nef
